Now Leaving Las Vegas
by TheVillageOfBree
Summary: a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas fanfiction. Raoul Duke is going to get out of Las Vegas, but when he thinks he's finally free, he meets Charity. And she's ridiculous. Ridiculously annoying.


**Warning: This is in fact and Fear and Loathing is Las Vegas fic, and anyone who has seen that movie should have figured out by now that this story will contain STRONG LANGUAGE, STRONG DRUG USE AND SEXUAL REFERENCES. if any of those things make you feel even somewhat uncomfortable DON'T READ THIS STORY!**_  
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**If you're cool with all that, then sit back, relax and enjoy. **

**Fear and Loathing is not mine, however my OC 'Captain' Charity Thatcher is.**

* * *

_Now leaving Las Vegas_, fuck, I was so happy to see that sign, finally gonna get away from this fucking place, the drugs had almost run out, only had a quarter of ether left, the acid was long gone along with the alcohol but there was still plenty of mescaline, although I couldn't survive on only bloody mescaline.  
I remember talking to myself I said something like, "Why the fuck am I still in the desert?" before inhaling some more ether from the flag it was soaked into.  
This possibly couldn't get any worse could it? I hadn't had a visit from any fucking bats in awhile, an obvious sign that I needed to locate more acid, _hmm, I wonder where I could get some in the middle of nowhere,_ I frantically searched the car until I found a long stick, I eyed it for a few seconds, I remember thinking: why the fuck is there a stick in here? I shrugged and shoved it under the steering wheel to keep it in place as I dove into the back of the car to search for more acid, it can't be all used up...right?  
I finally located one small bit and celebrated rather loudly before realising the car was turning, "shit", I said, "Has my stick fallen out? Am i going to crash?"  
I quickly jumped back into the front of the car and landed on top of something...correction, someone, sitting in the front seat.

"Whhhooooaaaa!" I screamed as I jumped off the person i remember saying something like, "Who the fuck are you?" and the person turned.  
It was a girl, and not a very old one at that, had her hair done in thousands of little plaits, I found myself completely distracted from my primary goal, getting this person out of my fucking car and instead found myself touching her hair gently as she continued grinning at me.  
"How's it going mate, Captain Thatcher at your service, although, you seem rather attractive, so i guess its Captain Charity."  
"Errgghh?" Was all I managed to get out, I was still leaning over the top of this girl, Charity? My feet were hanging out of the car and my face was squished on top of her knee, uncomfortable.  
"Drive" I spat out and Charity glared at me.  
"Beg pardon?"  
"DRIVE! I need to fucking DRIVE!"  
Charity groaned and slumped into the chair, now using her feet to steer, "Who do you think is Captain of this vessel? ME! Sir ME! In case you haven't noticed I have the hat!"  
"Ugghh?"  
Charity pointed at her head and I noticed a white hat sitting on top of her Blonde, no Brown, Black, Purple?...wait, is that green?  
I blinked slowly, acid was working, definitely.  
Let's say, various coloured hair.

"There! Exactly, I am Captain!" She cried and began to pat the paper pirate hat on her head and started to stroke a toy parrot taped to her left shoulder, "He don't understand me authority, do he Mr. Sprinkles?" She asked it and my eyes widened.  
"What have you been smoking, and where can I get some?" I asked in a raspy voice and she laughed before turning the car with her feet again.  
"Smoking no, drinking yes. Rum, rum is good."

I knew something was wrong with this girl, she seemed to think she was a pirate, was she insane, was I insane, were we both insane?  
"I'm not insane..." Charity answered.  
I said that? I thought I just thought it! She could hear me? What the fuck is going on here?

* * *

"I'm a pirate, I'm a pirate and i am the very best pirate there has ever been, la la la laaaa!"  
I could hear her singing, her voice wasn't great, it wasn't terrible either, but it was driving me crazy!  
I remember her driving my car all the way to a hotel, stopping a few times to 'commandeer' some supplies, I didn't have any idea what the fuck she was talking about until she started jumping into other peoples cars and raiding them for food and anything else she could lay her hands on, I eventually found myself preventing her from doing these things, an obvious sign that i really needed to get my hands on some drugs, anything!  
Adrenachrome sounded tempting, that shit was good.  
I eventually restrained the girl by taping her to the driver's seat, she still managed to drive with her feet after I did this, fucking hell I didn't understand her, she was still talking to the toy parrot on her shoulder, the one she always called Mr. Sprinkles, my eyesight was finally fairly normal and her hair was staying a nice normal black, the green looked good though.

"I am a pirrrraaatttteee!"  
I rolled over on the bed to face away from her, wouldn't stop bloody singing, why couldn't she have gotten a room with two beds?! Or a couch at least.  
"I just realised mate, never asked ya name, did I eh?"  
"Errggh" I moaned and i bashed my head into the pillow in attempt to make her annoying little voice go away.  
"You a'right mate?" She asked and pulled my orange hat off.  
"Whhhooaaaa!" I yelled and franticly tried to get it back off her, "Nah uh mate, wa's ya name?"  
"Duke! Raoul Duke! Now gimme my fucking hat!" I screamed and she held it further away from me.  
"How old are you?" She asked and started touching my head...which was too far, much too far.

I jumped off the bed and sat on the ground underneath, who was this woman? Why did I let her come with me? What did she want...?  
She had helped...a little, on one of her many car raids she managed to locate some acid and a little more mescaline, she also drove the whole time I was trying to ward off the giant bats that eventually showed up as I finally took the much needed acid, bloody things, they seemed to want my hat as well, and my brains, wanted to eat my brains those fuckers did.  
"I asked, how old are you?" Charity asked as she hung off the bed upside down, her face right in front of me making me back away.  
"37, why the fuck do you want to know?" I snapped and Charity's nose scrunched up in confusion.  
"Don't most people your age still have...hair?"  
"It's a medical condition..." I muttered, why is she asking so many questions? What does this have to do with anything, what does anything have to do with anything..? Where am I, why am I here...why is she here? Am I talking again...can she hear me?  
"Yes Dukie, I can hear you mate, why do you keep doing that?"  
"Ahh!" I yelled and cowered under the bed, she can read my mind! This insane girl can read my mind!..wait a second, back it up a little, did she just call me Dukie? As in Duke...but Dukie?

That, is not good...time to go get some mescaline.

* * *

I woke the next morning with a massive headache and a note stuck to my head, the room seemed to spin and the pink and green patterned carpet seem to move in strange ways, crawling up the walls...mmm, drugs are working.  
I ripped the note off my head and saw who it was from...ugh.  
_Ello Dukie, it's Captain Charity, gone to commandeer some more stuff, don't do anything rash, I will know if you do, I have Mr. Sprinkles watching you very closely.  
_I looked up at the roof and saw the fucking parrot taped to the roof, fucking creep.  
_When I get back, we will evacuate the premises, even a great pirate like meself can't afford this place, I made sure there was a window near the floor before we checked in, look for yourself.  
_I tuned to the right and noticed a large window that led right out into the garden and luckily we were on the first floor.  
_Last night you mumbled something about acid mate, I dunno what that is, so I'm gonna ask around and see if I can commandeer some, I stuck this to your awfully bald head at around 6, I should be back in three hours, so check your watch, if it says 9...I'll be there soon mate. _

"Hmm, nine.." I mumbled and looked down at my watch, the hands spinning incoherently and the numbers moving around.. "Ninnnee"  
I remember slumping onto the floor just off the bed and scrambling to find my hat as the world began to spin, "Why is the world fucking spinning, who put me on this ride?" I eventually found a flash of orange and gripped it slamming it down on my head and the world span faster and faster.  
The colours exploded in my face and fireworks erupted the squiggles on the carpet were crawling up to me and gripping my arms until I couldn't move...not good.

"Raoul...what are ye doing ye scurvy dog?"  
"Eh?" I muttered and finally managed to pull my head from the ground.  
"I'll help ya..." Charity muttered and picked me up off the floor, "Whoa, don't you eat anything mate? Ya weigh nothing..."  
I could hear myself mumbling, mumbling what though? I had no idea...  
"Come on..." Charity muttered and dropped me on the bed before sitting up next to me, "Hey...calm down mate..."

* * *

"Hey..calm down mate..." I muttered softly as Raoul shook on the bed, what was wrong with him? Being a pirate I had to handle drunks constantly, but this, this was different.  
"Dukie!" I said loudly but he didn't respond and continued shaking and mumbling incoherently, "Dukie please!" I yelled and gripped his shoulders but he didn't stop, "Please, come on Dukie, your fine, you're gonna be fine!"  
He was still shaking and i started to freak, I flung one of my legs over his so i was practically sitting on him, I had to help this sailor!  
"Raoul mate...you're gonna be fine love!" I pushed him down against the bed until the shaking finally subsided and I sighed, "You alright now love?"  
He wasn't shaking anymore, but something in his eyes was strange, he started up at me as though he was surprised about something, "Raoul?"  
"Charity?..." He rasped with wide eyes and I climbed off him.  
"I got us some food for the road mate...and a flag, our vessel needed one, and I was also able to locate some of the acid you talked about, so once you're better, we gotta set sail."

* * *

What is with this woman? I wondered, mounting me like a horse during a hallucination, I know perfectly well what to do during these attacks, until the lizards start appearing...those fuckers are still after me.  
I sat up on the bed feeling very confused as I watched Charity packing things, lamps, televisions, things that could not have been ours, now she is on the roof pulling Mr, Sprinkles down, no wait, she's over there, shoving clothes into a- nope there, smashing the window op- hmm to my left, she's dancing, terrible dancer, why am I surrounded by multiple Charity's? Which one is her? How do i know? Should I ask her, will she even know the answer?

I open my mouth to ask but before I have time one of the Charity's saunters over to me, what is she doing? I ask myself, why is she walking over here, I didn't ask her to, did I?  
The rest of the Charity's just started at me with creepy purple coloured eyes, how had I not noticed how weird her eyes were? Must have been the drugs.  
Brave Charity's face pulled into a wide grin as she crawled up onto the bed with me.  
"Eeeee!" I screeched as I began to scramble under the orange blankets and further away from her, "What's wrong Dukie?" I heard her ask, her lips curling up in a sly grin as her right hand pulled off my glasses and started stroking me face.  
What is with this woman? Why is she touching me? Is this a dream? And will her clones stop fucking staring! That one smashing the window seems to be getting joy out of watching this Charity climbing on top of me.  
"Do you want Doctor Charity to fix everything?"  
I found myself nodding, why the fuck was I nodding..? Charity grabbed my face with both hands and crushed her lips to mine.  
What the fuck is she doing?! My mind screamed as she pushed me away and held a lamp in the air like a weapon, "Errrugghhh!" I screamed as I attempted to escape this murderess, she was going to kill me, that was her plan all along! To kill me! She waited until I was vulnerable and threw herself on me! And look at the rest of her! Laughing!  
I scrambled off the bed and crawled under curling into a ball with my trusty flyswatter in hand.

"Back away you fiend!" I yelled and swatted Charity as she crawled under with me, "Away monster! Go fuck someone else!"  
Brave Charity rolled her eyes, "Night mate" She whispered, and everything went black.

* * *

"Fuck.." I muttered as i rubbed my head, my hat was back, thank god for that, but where was I? And where the heck was the girl?  
I sat up straight and noticed i was in the back of the car again, when did i get here? I looked at the driver's seat and noticed a stick jammed under the steering wheel.  
Was it all a hallucination? So there was no Charity?  
I slowly climbed into the front of the car and gripped the wheel before pulling the stick out and throwing it into the back of the car, i stuck my hand under my chair and pulled out my flyswatter and my cigarette holder, i quickly jammed a cigarette into the end before shoving it into my mouth and placing the flyswatter next to me.  
I drove for a few minutes, no hallucinations, nothing, until i drove past her, a girl with black hair, purple eyes, a grin on her face and a bag full of drugs.  
Hey, why not? I thought and stopped the car, she had drugs.

How bad could it be?

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**Review please!**


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